Ross O'Carroll-Kelly
This champagne mojito is the last thing I own
En Anglais – Nice gaff, cool cor, plenty of dosh, a stake in Dublin’s trendiest nightclub and a face that made boyfriends jealous. To say nothing of a beautiful wife and kids … All that remained was for him to totally fock it up : And I mean, totally … But did he see it coming? Of course not – too busy using his killer lines on the Seoige sisters : And then it hit me, all at once, on a lonely night in the Ice Bar …
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Mr S and the secrets of Andorra’s box
En Anglais – Ross O’Carroll-Kelly is broke and out of love. His wife has gone to America, taking his daughter with him; his mother has become a celebrity chef on daytime television, with a particular skill for handling phallic ingredients; and his father continues to languish in Mountjoy Jail. To cap it all, Immaculata, a Nigerian girl whom his wife, Sorcha, has been sponsoring by direct debit for fifteen years, has turned up on his doorstep. Things couldn’t get worse. But the long road back begins high in the Pyrenees, in the tax haven of Andorra, where Ross must spread the Gospel of rugby to the strange, primitive natives who have only ever heard of soccer, skiing and duty free shopping. There he meets Conchita, a beautiful, sultry psychoanalyst, who persuades him to look inwards and find out what it is that makes him tick. Sorry, thick.
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